


Subtlety and Lack Thereof

by 0hHeyThereBigBadWolf



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Do Not Re-Post To Another Site, Humor, In a manner of speaking, Multi, Poor Merlin, Sex Talk, Short & Sweet, Tristan and Isolde Are Having Way Too Much Fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 00:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20883479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0hHeyThereBigBadWolf/pseuds/0hHeyThereBigBadWolf
Summary: Arthur lacks subtlety on a normal day. As a simpleton, he lacks a filter entirely.





	Subtlety and Lack Thereof

Some things never change.

Though Merlin hardly supposes he can complain. Tristan and Isolde have been kind enough to let him and Arthur travel with them, so collecting a bit of firewood isn't so great a trial. At least it's something he's _used_ to doing. Hell, maybe he'll even ask if they have any weapons that need sharpening.

When he makes his way back to their camp with an armload of firewood, he can see Arthur sitting cross-legged on the ground and chattering most enthusiastically with Tristan and Isolde. They look entirely too happy with themselves, and nervousness wiggles into the pit of his belly, wondering what the hell the simpleton is telling them. As he approaches, he can hear Arthur's words more clearly.

"...and then in my big chair in the council hall, and there was one time in the library when Merlin bet me I couldn't be quiet when he—"

_"Arthur!"_ Merlin yelps in a strangled voice, a scalding flush spilling up the side of his neck when he realises exactly what they're discussing.

"Hold on, let him finish," Tristan protests.

He dumps his armful of firewood to the ground and plants both fists on his hips. "What on earth are you _asking_ him?" he demands of the smugglers, both of whom look entirely too enthused with this conversation.

Arthur pipes up before either can answer. "I saw them down by the stream when I got water, and he had his hand in her trousers, so I asked if they were married. Isolde told me they weren't and plenty of people went to bed before they went before the gods, and I asked if you and I counted because we never actually made it into a bed before, so she asked me where we have been, and I was just telling them a few."

He feels himself flushing to the roots of his hair, and he covers his face in both hands, wishing suddenly that he'd come up with a spell for muteness as well. "Oh, gods' mercy, Arthur..." he groans, shaking his head in mortification.

"Did you win?" Isolde prompts eagerly even as Merlin glares at her.

"Huh?"

"The bet, in the library, did you win?"

Arthur laughs loudly, shaking his head. "No, not at all. We got caught, and I had to tell Geoffrey that I had dropped a big book on my foot, but really it's because Merlin does this thing with his tongue where he—"

_"Arthur!"_

He blinks in surprise at Merlin's anguished cry. "What'd I say?"


End file.
